Early Morning Epiphanies : Addictions

I’m usually not the quickest to wake up in the mornings; I am a mumbling, puffy-eyed, ill-coordinated human being at least till my first hot beverage.

But some mornings, I open my eyes, I remember something I was working on the night before, and I’m instantly awake…rushing through daily ablutions so that I can get back to whatever it was I was doing.

At one point, it was my research into the world of crafting (it’s an ocean, and I emerged from it so much more enlightened, and also conflicted because there was so much I wanted to try but didn’t have the supplies to do it with). Then, it was fanfiction for a while (I learned what headcon, f/m, AU, x!y whump and TW meant). Most recently, it has been YouTube (let’s not get into exactly how obsessed I still am with that).

My point is, addictions can be of different kinds, and when I get addicted to or obsessed with something, I end up learning everything I can about it, and then after a while, I’m done with it.

Today, I’m obsessing over types of acrylic paint markers. See y’all at the other end of the tunnel.

 

Sleepy Acrobatics

There are times when I have cousins over at my place, and we only have one spare bedroom. So, most of the time, I end up sharing my bedroom with someone, usually a cousin.

I’ve noticed a trend…the kids almost always end up sleeping with one or more limbs on top of me.

Talking about sleeping with cousins always reminds me of this one trip a long time back, where I shared the bed with two of my cousin sisters, who promptly had a fight regarding who gets to sleep next to me (aw), which was resolved when they decided I would sleep in the middle. I spent the beginning portion of that night with one arm each in the clutches of one cousin (which they thankfully released as they fell asleep).

But I digress.

So I recently had another baby (well, I say baby…she’s 9) cousin over. She spent the night in my bed. And I spent the night trying to get her to shift over to her side of the bed.

Throughout the night, there was either an arm, an elbow, a knee or a foot on me somewhere, and there was me trying to subtly nudge her limbs back onto her own self (she wasn’t too energetic and I was too sleep-addled and polite, so not much changed).

Having gone through this, I remembered another case where my cousin baby brother slept in my room. He was a lot more energetic, and elbowed me several times in the night, but the situation was strikingly similar…some limb on me all throughout the night.

It’s important to note that only children do such stuff. Adults I think are too conscious of their own personal space, even while sleeping.

So what is it that makes my bed fellows gravitate towards me at night? Are they lacking cuddles?

I guess I’m just a really good elder cousin, and their affection overflows into their unconscious.

The compromises one makes for love. And adorable kids *sigh*

The Power of Blogging

7 years.

200 posts.

As is wont, I forgot to commemorate my blog’s birthday (5th February, if you’re curious) this year too. But while I was going through past posts, I suddenly saw the small little ‘199’ next to the tab header.

So, for my 200th post, I decided to be contemplative.

I was an 18 year old girl, trying to find a momentary escape from exam-prep, when I started blogging. I don’t remember what I expected from it at the time, except that I was glad to have a place to write whatever I wished, and it could be potentially read by numerous people.

Now, going through all the posts over the years, I can see how I’ve evolved, how my writing style has evolved, how my interests have developed, and how blogging as a medium has fared.

All in all, I’m glad I took the plunge and I am still excited every time I press ‘Publish’…and that’s why I keep blogging…because even after 7 years, I still want to keep this blog up and going. It’s something I’ve become proud of.

As an exercise in better planning, I’ve decided to post at least twice a month, if not more (I’m hoping to make it weekly, but let’s take baby steps).

Thank you for sticking with me and for reading! I hope you’ve found your happy place in blogging too.

Late-night Musings: The Journey, not the Destination

“It’s the journey that matters more than the destination”

I couldn’t find a definite, verifiable source which knows who expressed this thought first. Says a lot to it’s popularity I guess (that it’s been used so many times that nobody actually knows who said it first).

This quote has probably been paraphrased countless times by numerous people. And the essence it conveys is still as important as ever.

Whenever there’s something to look forward to, or something we’re dreading, there’s so much significance in the time leading up to that event. And if we remember that, it becomes so much easier to follow the adage of ‘living in the present’.

When I’m eagerly awaiting something, I’ve found that the level of excitement that the planning stage holds, is almost always more than the excitement on the day itself, firstly because the waiting period is usually longer than the event is, and also because sometimes, by the time the event actually comes around, you’ve thought out everything in such detail and planned everything so meticulously, that time seems to pass a lot faster.

Point is, keeping in mind this saying has proved helpful for me, as I remember to enjoy the process, the journey, the quest, the research, or the chase, rather than just waiting around for the end result.

Okay. End of philosophical musing for tonight.

Kthnxbai

De-stressing shouldn’t be Distressing

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or you just detest social media, in which case, more power to you!), there is a 99.9% chance you know about the relatively new phenomenon of Colouring Books for Adults.

I’ve always loved colouring. When I was a child, it was an encouraged activity, but when I was a teenager and still wanted to colour, I sometimes thought whether I was just the most uncool kid on the block.

And now, as I obsessively look for good colouring books for adults, I am reminded why I liked it so much…you just have to follow a simple mantra – stay inside the lines – and you soon end up with something that looks great (most of the time) and which you can say has been made by you! Win win!

I realized a few things however…

  • The kind of spontaneity that we had as children (which helped us eschew all the norms and colour the sky purple for all we cared) is very hard to harness as an adult now. There are quite a few pictures of real life things decorated with abstract designs, and it’s taking me a lot of inner turmoil to stop worrying about how it “should be”, and just use colours which would look good. Take this owl for example…

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Believe me when I say it was not easy introducing the purple, blue, pink and red into an owl.

But then I reasoned that it was an owl which was already tattooed like a hairy biker, so I wasn’t deviating as much as the illustrator already had. I still ended up using a lot of browns and yellows to sort of balance the hippie-ish colours. And of course I adamantly made the leaves only green and the sky blue. LIKE IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE.

*repress anxiety on being deviant*

I think we should ponder upon the fact that society has prepared us so well, that most of us generally tend to scream in fear (exaggeration, yes) when faced with an opportunity to be a rebel. Let’s sit with that thought for a bit, shall we?

  • There are some pictures which have such ridiculously intricate designs that it’s giving me a headache just thinking about how much time and concentration it’s going to take me to finish those. Like, seriously…am I supposed to paint with those single-strand-of-animal-tail-hair brushes that Mughal miniature painters apparently used?! Look at this one…

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(blunt) Colour pencil for scale. Look at the detail in the wings! What’s the use of so many dots when I’ll have to just scrawl the same colour over them all? *stop from getting hysterical*

So basically, this de-stressing is sometimes a bit distressing too. Not all the pictures are my cup of tea.

  • This is still quite a novel idea, so it means that there are not as many of these books out there, and most of the ones that are available, are pretty pricey. Now, I didn’t want to spend a thousand bucks on something which I haven’t even tried yet, so I tried hard and found some relatively cheaper ones. They’re good too, and I’m hoping more of such books are released soon.

 

Fact is, whatever  I might say against these books, they’re exciting, they bring you back in touch with things like crayons and sketch pens and colour pencils (unless you, like me, keep doing something which lets you use these things *shameless plug*), and they help you feel like a naughty kid again.

I’ve even been colouring a little outside the lines now. I think I can safely say I’m an absolute rebel now.

Have you been using colouring books for adults too? What’s your experience been?

Trust me, I’m an Ambivert.

I’ve found that most people do not fit into separate water-tight categories. Everyone lies somewhere on a scale, and it’s kind of meaningless trying to pass judgement by declaring a person to be just one thing.

I, for example, am an Ambivert.

On the scale between Introversion and Extroversion, I lie somewhere in the middle, if online personality tests are to be believed. And even if I don’t put much stock in such tests, I realize it myself too now.

In the past, I would have usually described myself as an Introvert, which would prompt my friends to stare and say, “Yeah, right”, because when I’m in the mood I can talk a lot and engage in witty repartee, much like a very social person. But it’s afterwards, when I need a while to be alone and wind down from all the interaction, that makes me realize that I’m really not an Extrovert, however decent I might be at engaging with new people or just chatting nineteen-to-a-dozen when I want to.

It’s only recently that I came across the term ‘ambivert’ (yes, thank you Psychology, for never mentioning the thing) and it was like fireworks and flowers in bloom as I read through the description and I finally felt like someone understands me (I might be exaggerating, but it was a pretty amazing find).

Lifehack talks about it, and so does Buzzfeed.

And if those don’t make the mark, there are more professional sites which talk about it too.It’s as easy as googling ‘ambivert’, and then you wonder how you didn’t know of it before, because ohmygod it’s everywhere.

Point is, I still feel like I have to provide an explanation whenever I say I’m an ambivert, almost as if I’m trying to refute the fact that I sound so hipster-ish when I say it. Also, I think other people find it hard to classify ambiverts, because we’re not always outgoing and not always in our shell.

Sorry about that.

But it’s a daily struggle…

 

Spring is here

Spring has always been my favourite season. And how can it not, when nature literally begins coming back to life suddenly, after months of dormancy? It’s like a naturally poetic time.

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First, I thought this photograph was too bleak and signified only thorns and and despair. But it’s so obvious that it actually shows that even the thorns can’t stop the delicate new leaves from coming out. Did I mention spring is an inherently poetic time?

I love how the bare trees begin sprouting out again, I love how a lot of the flowers which were planted ages back finally open their buds and start blooming.

I love how the weather becomes practically perfect in every single way.

I think I just love the fact that spring makes everything seem so hopeful and possible…like an acknowledgement of the fact that the few months of the new year which have gone by might not have given you everything you desired already, but there are still so many months left. There is still hope for wonderful things to happen.

Okay. I think I myself get hopelessly poetic during spring. And now I know why I loved reading P. B. Shelley’s ‘Ode to the West Wind’ – because though it is dedicated to the harsher wintery winds and talks mostly about despair and destruction, it talks a lot about what is to come, and how everything will bloom again in spring.

O Wind,
If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?
– Percy Bysshe Shelley (Ode to the West Wind)
Happy Spring!