Look Back. Move Forward.

Hello hello. I think I might be late to this party (by at least a month), but better late than never, right?

To begin my posts in the new year, I’m going to do something I haven’t done much (except for blogging awards) – tackle a Tag. The New Year’s Tag, to be precise. I think it’s actually a YouTube tag, but eh…let’s adapt.

So let’s begin the mock interview!

(Note : WordPress is somehow bungling up the formatting of the bullet points. No amount of checking and rechecking is working. Help!)

(Update : My friend helped fix it! Yay for friends who know HTML! Thanks Sahil)

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Just stealthily adding in my favourite photograph that I clicked in 2015

 

  • If you could look back on one memory from last year that you wish you could relive, what would it be?

This one’s tough…but I think I’d say my trip to Hyderabad for a friend’s brother’s wedding (because it was marvelous fun), AND some memorable family get-togethers

  • What was one New Year’s Resolution that you accomplished

New Year’s resolutions always remind me of Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) as he explains how he doesn’t need resolutions because he’s already perfect. Pity I don’t think I’m as perfect as Calvin does, but I’m still not a big proponent of NY resolutions, because of their inevitably short life. Because circumstances change, and the same resolution cannot always hold true.

But, even with my ‘I-don’t-need-resolutions’ approach, I think I subconsciously resolved to stop worrying so much about what others were saying. I accomplished that…a bit.

  • 3 words to describe last year?

Exciting. Changing. Steadying.

  • Best music related creation/inspiration last year by an artist in your opinion?

Adele’s 25 (because however bandwagon-ish that may sound…for Adele, I don’t care) and some of the stuff on Coke Studio.

  • Something you’re looking forward to this coming year?

A lot of things. Hoping for quite a lot too. Let’s not jinx anything.

  • What did last year teach you?

That growing up and being independant is freeing and frightening at the same time. And that’s fine; life doesn’t progress in black and white, and is in fact mostly grey.

  • What was your most worn clothing item of last year?

I think there would a list of things because once I like something, I hold onto it like Christopher Robin held onto Pooh. Same goes for clothes, so I’m sure people were forced to see some of the same stuff on me repeatedly (and they were too polite to say anything) because I was so delighted with it and loved it too much.

  • If you had to sum up your year in one word, what would it be?

Hey! I’ve already used 3 words to describe the year 5 questions back, and now just ONE word? Do you not know of my rambling verbosity?

If I have to pick a word…Transformative.

  • What are you hoping for more of this coming year?

More books, more meeting up with old friends, more communication, more belief in good things to come.

  • What are you hoping for less of this coming year?

Less of YouTube binges (just like me to give up Facebook, but fall into the whirlpool of YouTube), less of apprehensiveness, less anxiety.

  • Best book you read last year?

Tough! But I think I really enjoyed working my way through the Watchman Books from Discworld by Terry Pratchett. Also, finally read Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca, which was pretty haunting.

  • What is your New Year’s resolution for the upcoming year?

Refer to second question above.

However, I guess I continue with the wish to be more confident about myself and being so apprehensive about my instincts.


 

And that’s it! Tag complete. This was more fun than I expected, and required a lot more contemplation than I had anticipated.

Happy New Year everyone! Thanks for sticking around, and hope you’re having a wonderful year so far. Keep being awesome \m/

Dealing With a Knee Injury & Anxiety

(The reason I’m writing this post is so that people who, like me, are too quiet to actually ask the doctor about how the injury and recuperation will progress, have an idea of what comes ahead, and need not torture themselves with assumptive scenarios like I unfortunately did)

Hello! This is going to be a long post. It’s partly a way for me to write it all down (and better assess what I went through), and for others to get to know about knee ligament injuries. If you don’t want to read my emotional ramblings, just stick to the portions I’ve put in Blockquotes, and you should be fine.

Let me begin by saying, IT ALL TURNS OUT FINE IN THE END.

In February 2014, I suffered from a Knee Ligament Injury while on a college trip to Kerala. It happened in a freak accident (foot got stuck in bus seat, got twisted from the knee) and at that time, nobody really knew what to do.

I knew it was bad the very second I tried to stand up, and couldn’t, because my leg wobbled like jelly and refused to hold me up. As I collapsed back on the seat, crying out in pain, I knew this was not just a bruise or light muscle pull.

At the hostel where we were staying, someone got me  a electric hot water bag (first mistake. Any muscle/ligament injury needs COLD compresses, not hot) and my friends sat around, chatting, while one held the bag to my knee, worriedly. No one at this moment thought it was that bad. The topic of conversation was light, based on the conversation we and fellow participants (we were at a Social Work convention) had been having on the bus, and the conversation (or antics) which got me kind of flustered and made me want to rush off the bus, leading to the freak accident.

There were countless moments in the following months (even now sometimes) when I was lying in bed, remembering that moment in the bus, trying to will my past self to go slow, pull my foot out carefully rather than wrenching it out, and then cringing when I think of how ungainly I must have looked when I couldn’t stand up and fell back on the seat (hello anxiety, old friend. How nice of you to keep reminding me of this).

To cut a long story short, thankfully it was the last day of the trip, and the next day, I was taken to an Ayurveda doctor (Kerala is world renowned for it’s Ayurveda practice) who checked my knee and said I needed at least one month of rest, before she wrapped my knee up in herbal oils and gave me a tonic (it was so bitter) and three types of pills to take over the next few weeks.

The doctor didn’t explain what had happened to my knee. I cried at the pain, my friends looking at me worriedly, as she gently rotated my leg. I was scared.

The train journey home was…difficult. I couldn’t bend my leg, so I sat with it propped up on the opposite seat. Someone had to help me whenever I got up. It hurt.

When I got back home, my parents were understandably worried. They took me to an orthopaedic doctor in the evening. While I told him the whole story, he made me lie down, picked up my leg, and moved it around at the knee. He said it was a ligament injury and I would need one month of complete bed rest. He also said that if it was a simple ligament injury, then I could get away easy. But if it was a meniscal injury/tear, it might need an operation.

I spent the next month with my leg strapped in a knee immobilizer (it lives up to its name, people) and lying in bed all day. The biggest challenge was going to the washroom, because sitting down on the porcelain throne without bending one knee should be a well-acknowledged Olympic sport, that’s all I’m saying!

The next order of business was to figure out how I would make up for one month’s worth of classes and fieldwork. I called up one professor (in hindsight, I shouldn’t have called her because I knew how pessimistic she could get) to ask about how I should go ahead. She told me all about students who had to drop a year when they had accidents and couldn’t attend classes for a while. She said how one girl had to repeat a year even though the faculty tried hard to help her out.

Bloody hell. This was bad. I really didn’t want to lose a year. As someone who gets anxious easily, this was not a thing I wanted to hear.

I talked to some other professors, one of them being my first year advisor and the only professor who went with us to Kerala. He assured me something would be worked out. I talked to my second year advisor, and she told me the same thing. I might have cried a few tears of relief. And now, I can tell you the first major thing –

For managing issues which may arise from the long period of recuperation (missing classes/work), talk to the people who you know are empathetic and would genuinely want to help you, in whatever way. Avoid talking to pessimistic people.

Sometimes, people don’t know how damaging their words are when they feel like they’re just being transparent and trying not to give you unnecessary hope. Sometimes, a person may need a bit of hope, to avoid constantly worrying about the worst things that could happen.

Once the excitement about the classes was over (I didn’t have to repeat the year; my professors were very understanding, and my advisors made sure I made up for the missed fieldwork), I had nothing to do now, except stay on bed rest.

And this is when the lovely, anxious thoughts began…

…will my leg ever be the same again?

…will I be able to run?

…will I limp a bit?

…will it become stiff?

So everything from probable stiffness to limp-for-life was given a thought. And all because I just couldn’t bring myself to talk about this with anybody. So, next point to remember –

Talk to your doctor to find out what to expect in the next few weeks. Stop assuming worst-case scenarios, and just ASK

I ended up going for the weekly (and then fortnightly) doctor’s appointments, getting told what to do recuperation-wise and physiotherapy-wise, and leaving, without ever discussing the fears my mind had started torturing me with.

Another thing I didn’t remember, which stumps me now, is that,

there are so many people who go through this, and they are perfectly fine afterwards.

Knee ligament injuries are common in sports, and they definitely don’t end the sportsperson’s career or anything.

Also,

Google is not a friend. It is the pessimistic, overly-cautious hypochondriac, who would lead you to believe that every ligament injury will need surgery, which is NOT TRUE.

Coincidentally, a fellow participant at the Kerala convention, was also on bed rest during the same time I was, though he actually went through an operation. It was strangely helpful to be able to talk to someone else who was also forced to stay in bed and didn’t have anything else to do. Because, let’s face it – there will be visitors in the beginning, and you will feel touched and important. But soon, it will just be you and your family (or whoever you live with). This fact caused me a lot of pain, something I blogged about too, and while the sadness made the anxiety lower, it was bad. Kind of left me depressed (I say ‘kind of’ so that people don’t feel I’m trying to be dramatic and treating depression lightly).

Yes, it sucks. No, it isn’t immature/selfish of you to feel bad about it even though it’s a simple injury (and oh so many people have it worse). And yes, you will come out of this just fine.

The knee immobilizer gave way to a hinged knee brace, and that gave way to just a simple crepe bandage on my knee for a while. I started going for classes after one month’s bed rest, and everything progressed smoothly thereon.

When the doctor finally told me that I could stop putting the bandage and only use it while sleeping, it was a momentous occasion. And then one night, when I mistakenly tied the bandage on the wrong knee, I suddenly realized that my body was already beginning to forget the strange experience it had gone through. I still remember the happiness I felt at that moment.

The first time I folded my leg (by mistake, once the knee brace was off), it hurt like crazy. Like, oh-my-god-pain-shooting-through-my-whole-body kind of thing.

After that, I focussed on my physio a lot more.

With time, everything became easier. Muscle memory took over, and bending my leg, squatting, climbing stairs, everything began happening effortlessly. Now I sometimes have trouble remembering which knee I had hurt.

Now, nearing two years after that harrowing time, I can safely say a few things –

  1. My knee works perfectly well, just like before. If anything, I tend to get conscious and stiff sometimes, anticipating difficulties, but its all fine.
  2. I can walk, run, cycle, trek etc. just like always. And squatting is also fine.
  3. My knee used to be a bit wobbly for a while, but now even that has stopped.
  4. All is fine with the world!

The point of this post was simple (though yes, it took a lot of words to get across) –

I want to put the message across, that even with such injuries, everything will turn out alright if you follow the doctor’s orders, stick to your physiotherapy, and take it slow.

And, I know anxiety is the worst friend to have, so whenever it starts feeding you assumptive scenarios, best thing to do is talk to some experts about the facts. It’s seldom as bad as our mind may make it out to be.

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Furtive Delhi Autumns and Time Flashing By

Autumn in Delhi sneaks in all of a sudden. One day, you’re grumbling about how hot and humid it still is, and the very next morning, you realize you have to lower the fan speed because it feels too chilly.

The foliage in Delhi isn’t particularly prone to turning the beautiful shades of red and gold which are usually associated with autumn, because the trees here are more of the evergreen variety. Nonetheless, a lot of trees shed off their leaves and become skeletal versions of themselves while a walk down the road becomes a lot noisier given the scattered leaves crunching under everyone’s feet.

Autumn is a relatively short period of time in Delhi, and before you know it, it will be winter. And every time it’s autumn, I end up thinking…where has this year flown?! It can’t possibly be the last quarter of the year already!

But it is. Another year almost drawing to a close. So much to look back upon.

Does time go by faster as you grow older? A year seemed so much longer when I was a kid. Or maybe now I just have to think about the future much more than when school made up most of my immediate future. Whatever the case, I wonder whether the incessant thinking and planning about coming days ended up pulling my mind into what will be, than keeping it in what currently is.

Autumn makes me ameliorative and contemplative. And a tiny bit more poetic I think.

Happy Autumn!

Aaaand the good ol’ Writer’s Block is back!

When I describe writer’s block as ‘good ol” I hope you hear the sarcasm in that. Because I seriously want nothing more than this block to get lost. In Pan’s Labyrinth for all I care.

To tide over my lack of funny-things-to-talk-about, I’m going to mention a show I’m slightly obsessed with right now – My Mad Fat Diary (MMFD). It’s a British teen drama, and though it describes itself as that, let me make it clear that it is anything but shallow.

The show talks about certain mental health issues in a way which is more refined and crystal clear than any other show/movie I have ever watched. And it deals extensively with body image issues, an issue which I think every single person has in some way or the other.

I’m usually not much of a fan girl of TV shows, (except when it comes to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Sherlock) but this show really pulled me in, hook, line and sinker. It’s an absolute joy seeing how the characters are built up and all the parallel stories come together. A lot of the predicaments the characters get into feel so relatable, and I am not ashamed to admit that I cried watching a few bits (damn there goes my cool dude persona).

You should watch it. It ended a few months back, though I got to know of the last season only a few days back. It’s just three short seasons, so just go watch it and thank me later.

Now. Next topic – A Movie I Do Not Like : Gone Girl.

<rant>

I just watched this movie on TV, and OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU END A MOVIE LIKE THAT?!?! It built up the suspense, intertwining two different narratives gorgeously, and then…BOOM. The whole Haha-the-movie’s-over-and-we-left-you-waiting-for-more. Now this is why I’m such a proponent of happy endings and feel-good movies. Because when I sit down and watch a movie, I don’t want it to end and leave me all jittery and high strung. Ugh. I love thrillers and mysteries, but if the antagonist doesn’t get their comeuppance in the end, it just makes me mad. I guess I’m still a bit of a kid that way.

</rant>

Okay, now I’m going to go and read some MMFD fan fiction. (HELP I might be obsessed)

Sometimes I have epiphanies which I wish I didn’t have (though they’re actually helpful)

(Note : This post is brought to you by screenshots, Ctrl+PrtScr, MS Paint and my awesome annotating skills. And an online meme generator)

It’s weird how we tend to not notice things which have been right under our noses, until our brain just suddenly catches it and goes all, hey don’t you feel like an idiot now? Haha.

So my brain decided to be extra active recently. It was only a few days back, when I was going through my mail, that I saw a email alerting me about a post by a blogger I follow. And something caught my eye… ‘Respond to this post by replying above this line’

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(Side note : I smudged out the blog name because I didn’t exactly know whether I should keep it on or not. I’m pretty sure though that if you search for that title, you’ll find it quicker than I can say I’m-bad-at-making-up-my-mind)

Believe you me, I REALLY did not know of this. I have been unconsciously reading this line since 4 years on WordPress (that’s right…4 years. WordPress even sent me a graphic to thank me for taggin’ along. You’re welcome WP).

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Digressing from post – Part 1

Back to the post…so I first subscribed to WordPress blogs 4 years back, and I’ve been getting post updates since then, but it was only 2 days back that I suddenly realized that Holy Guacamole! I can comment via email! Such a novel idea! Such amazing! Much wowe!

Now this was a happy moment. I quickly sent in a comment via email, and then went onto the blog itself, to check whether I was doing it right, because surely it couldn’t be that simple?! Click ‘Reply’, type comment and click ‘Send’?! Or could it?

Voila! There was my comment on her blog, and I didn’t even have to log in to WP and all! Oh boy!

To explain my (apparently) unfounded happiness, I would like to tell you all that the only reason I’m bad at commenting on other blogs, is because I’m lazy. There…I said it. I just can’t bring myself to login to WP, then open the blog, and then the post, and then put in a comment.

But if I can comment from Gmail itself…well, you’re all in for a lot of comments from me now!

This epiphany (or ‘sudden alertness’ could be a better description) was definitely helpful. But it made me feel like such a fool. Gah! How could I have not noticed this in four years?! Y u be lost and inattentive, brain?!

So now, if you suddenly see me around on your comments a lot, don’t fear. I’m not stalking you. I’m just revelling in the fact that I now know how to comment by mail. And I’m loving it \m/

In other news, I also figured out why I wasn’t getting updates from a lot of blogs that I follow. Now I don’t know whether, similar to the commenting fiasco, I just happened to overlook these settings, or WP somehow bungled stuff up. Because I stopped getting updates from some blogs after a while of getting them.

So anyway, there are settings you need to add for each blog you follow via that sneaky little ‘+Follow’ button on the top of a blog you’re visiting. Clicking that, just begins showing posts from that blog onto your Reader on WP, but doesn’t automatically subscribe you to email updates.

(Digressing from post – Part 2 : I would LOVE if everyone would add a ‘Subscribe’ button on their blogs! Makes following them so much easier!)

You have to change the settings you see…

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Now if you, like me, prefer reading your blogs on your email and not on the WP reader, then YOU NEED TO CHANGE ALL YOUR SETTINGS TO THE SECOND (GOOD) SETTING RIGHT NOW.

It has made my life so much better.

And if someone posts a lot, you can easily ask for mail updates only once a day, or once a week. Or never (but then, why follow them anyway?).

With my new-found knowledge, I promptly began following a few new bloggers, and changed settings to begin getting post updates from some of my favourite bloggers (who had sadly gotten placed in the BAD SETTING somehow).

I also unfollowed some blogs which didn’t have any posts in, say, 3-4 years, and some which had been deleted by their users.

Unfollowing blogs is quite a nostalgic experience. A few of the blogs I had to remove, had been part of the first few blogs I’d followed and enjoyed reading. And their authors had been the first ones to comment on my baby blog. But they’re somehow not around anymore. Oh well. Hopefully they’re happy and busy doing something else!

It still felt weird though. Like, letting go of some part of the past in a very tangible way.

Change will always be resisted I guess.

All things said and done, I think I should’ve sat down with the WP Manual/Handbook 4 years back. Or maybe I should just go and comment on some new posts now.

Back to the Mountains

It was my parents’ 25th Anniversary (yep, silver jubilee and all) some time back. And we decided to spend it away from home. Once again, my parents spent ages ruminating over the options, and never deciding. So once again, I had to finally put my foot down and decide on a destination by myself.

Because we couldn’t get too many days off from work, the place had to be nearby, and had to provide some much-needed respite from the Delhi heat. So after much thought, I zeroed down upon the Queen of the Hills – Mussourie.

It was a good decision!

It was smoggy, so we didn’t get a perfect view of the mountain range around. However, the one day we decided to amble along the Mall road, it was sunny enough to give us all sunburn (we returned with red noses and foreheads).

All in all though, it was lovely. We stayed at the lovely Kasmanda Palace, which has beautiful English gardens, a restaurant deck which overlooks the valley, and old-world vintage decor inside the main building, which is fascinating to look at.

The trip was centred around admiring nature, relaxing in peaceful surroundings, and me trying out my new DSLR.

Kasmanda Palace (view from the restaurant deck)

Kasmanda Palace (view from the restaurant deck)

Slightly smoggy views in the morning unfortunately

Slightly smoggy views in the morning unfortunately (as in, it broke my heart, because I had been looking forward to some spectacular views)

The palace gardens are beautiful. Such a lot of flowers!

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Still searching for the name of these flowers. But just look at those colours!

Calla lilies

Calla lilies

SO MANY FLOWERS

Swaying Himalayan Aster (according to my extensive research)

And what’s an English garden without a birdbath…

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There’s a Magnolia tree in the garden too. And it was flowering. Win!

And for those of you who haven’t seen magnolia flowers before (just like I hadn’t before this trip), here’s how they look off the tree…

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Surprisingly, more than the flowers, I was enchanted by a huge Maple tree. I even got a leaf home, as a souvenir and memorabilia of our time here.

This maple tree had me captivated

This maple tree had me captivated

We took a half day trip outside Mussourie. We first went to Landour, which is famous for being the place where Ruskin Bond lives. I was very excited about going there. I imagined bumping into him somewhere, and discussing how much I liked his books.

Imagine my disappointment when the driver suddenly drove past a red building, with ‘Doma’s Inn’ written on it (surrounded by distinctly Tibetan paintings) and pointed out what looked like a side door, and said, “That’s where Ruskin Bond lives”.

And that was it. Before I could protest and ask the driver to stop, we had flown down the narrow road, leaving Bond’s house behind. The disappointment of not even being able to see Bond’s house properly, let alone him, was so much that I didn’t take any pictures in Landour at all. Oh well. I guess I’ll have to plan a stay at Doma’s Inn soon.

After Landour, we moved on to Dhanaulti. This wasn’t the first time we were going that way. My parents and I remember Dhanaulti as the place-we-were-on-our-way-to-but-our-car-broke-down (this happened at least 10 years back). So, though we knew about Dhanaulti and should have already visited it, had it not been for a very bad road 10 years back, this was the first time we actually went there.

The roads are a lot better now, I was told many times by my parents, who have a better recollection of what had happened the last time we were on that road than I did.

The place to visit in Dhanaulti, is the Eco Park. It’s supposed to be a peaceful place, but now has a variety of ‘adventure sports’ (kids hanging from harnesses and zipping down a line) and swings (in the shape of animals). I understand that children must be kept occupied in such a place where there is nothing to do, but it affects the serenity of the place. A lot.

It was only when we walked quite a distance into the forest, did we actually experience the stillness of the forest; the only sound was the incessant buzzing of cicadas (which are found in abundance here), and the occasional trilling whistle of some bird.

Deodar trees at the Dhanaulti Eco Park. Towering above us, I could tell why they were regarded as sacred by Indian sages. And below our feet, their needle-like leaves covered the forest floor

Deodar trees at the Dhanaulti Eco Park. Towering above us, I could tell why they were regarded as sacred by Indian sages. And below our feet, their needle-like leaves covered the forest floor

The fun part was when I had a long whistled conversation with a bird in the forest. When it whistled, I whistled back, and it replied back in turn. I was hoping it would show itself, because I could make out by the increasing volume of it’s whistle that it was coming closer, curious to find out whether I was some new bird who just did NOT know how to speak bird.

Sadly, it didn’t reveal itself. I only saw one bird which allowed me to photograph it…

This tiny little guy was the only one who posed long enough for me to get a photograph

This tiny little guy was the only one who posed long enough for me to get a photograph

Side note : I love ‘conversing’ with birds. And if you want to try, you just need to know how to whistle. When you hear a bird chirping, whistle back. In most cases, the bird will whistle back and keep replying every time you whistle. I did this with another bird in Mussourie too

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So, back to Dhanaulti Eco Park…

Gorgeous flowers were in abundance. And interesting insects to boot

Gorgeous flowers were in abundance. And interesting insects to boot

The Eco Park was lovely, and if we would have had more time, I would have loved to just sit on one of the many log seats in the forest, and enjoy the surroundings.

Yes, I’ve grown old.

Back from Dhanaulti, we enjoyed some time on the Mall road, went up to Gun Hill (so called because there used to be a canon on that hill, which was fired every hour of the day to tell the time. It was stopped because the canon ball once crashed through someone’s roof. I surmise the person wasn’t very happy about that) by cable car. Because of the smog, the view wasn’t as great as it should have been, but we did catch a bird’s eye view of our hotel!

See the red turrets? That's the Kasmanda Palace, the hotel where we were staying

See the bright red roof and turrets? That’s the Kasmanda Palace, the hotel where we were staying

A special mention to the night view of Mussourie. Spectacular!

Mussorie at night. Glittering and bright.

Mussourie at night was as gorgeous as ever. Glittering and bright.

There’s still so much to explore in Mussourie. And so many other seasons to see it in. Now I kind of get why people go there multiple times. And as Ruskin Bond puts it…

“It is always the same with mountains. Once you have lived with them for any length of time, you belong to them. There is no escape.”
― Ruskin Bond (Rain in the Mountains : Notes from the Himalayas)

(All photographs belong to me. Please ask before sharing them anywhere.)

Getting Used to This ‘Growing Up’ Thingamajig

Like, seriously.

For as long as I remember, the solemn, philosophical, soul-stirring conversations I had with my cousin sister (Hi Runa!) always ended with an emphatic declaration from both of us – “We’re never going to become like these adults! Never!”

Little did we know, that we wouldn’t be given a choice.

Little did we know that we would be pushed into the “experience” head-first and then expected to find our bearings(if we ever do).

There are so many instances when I’m faced with some situation at work (side note : how on earth are we old enough to work?!) when I realize the gravity of the situation – now when I take a decision, I’m a representative of an organization. It’s not like college, when whatever I did, affected me and only me. If I submitted a subpar paper, it affected my grades. But if I do subpar work at office, I’m affecting a lot of other people and maybe even the whole project.

It’s humbling to say the least.

My cousin and I (refer above) had the following conversation just a few days back –

Sis : “I realize I’ve grown up when I see those movies with angsty teenagers saying, “Mom, I’m 16. I know what to do” and I go “You know nothing of the world.”.”

Me : “I KNOW RIGHT?! As in, you’re 16; stop kidding yourself and go study.

(pause)

Both of us : “We literally understand the parent’s perspective now. How. Why. How.”

We understand that teenage is a angsty, rebellious phase. And that children need to calm down. Whaaa…??

We’re teenagers no more. And we’ve seen too much of the world to ever go back to being childlike and ignorant again. Ignorance truly was bliss. In some ways at least.

I surprise myself nowadays when I’m able to hold a conversation and exchange (*shudder*) small talk. I’m still really bad at it, but I’ve reduced awkward silences from my side by at least 5%. Achievement? Oh yes, I think so too.

There are still times when I just DON’T want to continue conversations with people I don’t like, but I’ve had to kind of learn the art of (*gasp*) hipocrisy, because I realize that I CANNOT sit in the corner and daydream. Because apparently that’s weird and adults don’t get as much leeway for being weird as kids/teenagers do. So I’ve realized that people might say anything they want to behind someone’s back, but they’re almost fawning over the same person when they’re directly interacting with them. I’m sorry. I thought when you didn’t agree with someone, you didn’t need to fight, yes, but you didn’t even need to act like there was no disagreement at all. But seems like that’s what makes the world go round – annoyance disguised as fondness.

All said and done though, it’s always reassuring that there are millions who’re stuck in the same crazy state that we are in. Internet throws up certain gems…

And I realize how our perspectives changed…

So true it isn’t even funny

But now that we’re here…I guess we’ve got to make the most of it.

Happy Adulthood to my fellow kids-at-heart!

We’re stuck here now. No escape. No. Escape.

Have fun.