“My problem was SO much worse!”

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some hard battle” – Plato

I’ve realized that if you ever try talking about your problem with someone else, 7 out of 10 times you will be treated to an in-depth discussion instead, of how hard the other person themselves had it. Does everyone have this experience? Or am I just trying to confide in the wrong people?

The best confidantes are those who have a great deal of emotional stability, self-confidence and maturity to be able to listen to someone else’s problems and try to keep the conversation about that person rather than trying to prove how they’ve had it worse. I guess no one wants to have their own problems seem less important to someone else’s.  But how will listening to another’s troubles make your problem less significant? I mean come on!

So, the next time your friend’s telling you about the awful day he/she had, listen with your full attention and try not to get the whole ‘you-should-be-happy-others (especially me)-have-it-worse’ dimension into the picture. Please.

Take this license…and make someone feel better! They’ll love you for it, and would love to return the favour if you let them!

‘Blankness’

I have been really, badly neglecting blogging, haven’t I? As I’m sure you’re bored of hearing, I’ve been going through a few very confusing situations lately, and because these situations will impact my future deeply, I don’t have the option of staying complacently confused. So, basically, I’m not able to blog. And even if I steal in a few minutes of sitting with the ‘Add New Post’ page open, the words REFUSE to flow. Just simply refuse. Insufferable writer’s block and all.

Oh well. A proper post sometime later then? *sigh*

P.S. Sometimes some of the people “closest” to you, do some things which make you question your judgement about them. I wish this wouldn’t happen. Like, really.

Passion for Mushy Confessions

I haven’t posted in a while, and realized how bad that is when I couldn’t accept a compliment about my blog because I’ve been neglecting it so much. Well, I shall post. Now. Okay? Okay.

So…there’s been a sudden rise in the number of ‘confession pages’ on Facebook recently. And when I say ‘rise’, I mean exponential growth and ginormous increase et al. Every school, college, university, department (heck even residential colonies) has a confession page.

And then, an anonymous confession form is made. I’m sure if Google was asked for stats, they would show an increasing popularity for Google forms, one of the lesser known aspects of Google’s umbrella of applications. I myself learned about this wonderful use of Google Docs because of confession pages. But I also learned in this period that OMG THEY’RE SHUTTING DOWN GOOGLE READER!! Why? Why?! It couldn’t possibly be scoring low on loyal users!! So why then?

But, I digress. The anguish about the Reader cannot be dealt with here.

So, confession pages. The anonymous forms. And then? The cryptic proposals and “romantic” (for need of a better word) messages. Just give ‘em an anonymous form, and watch those “XYZ you’re HOT”s and “ABC I’ve fallen for you”s and “JKL you looked so pretty in blah”s come pouring in. Trust me. I’ve had an experience being an admin on one such page…which was fun at first. But then…

Everyone’s in love with everyone else, and they find a confession page to be a better place to let everyone know something (which is basically nothing really) than actually making use of their legs and vocal chords to let the person know face-to-face. Maybe then there would be some use of confessing your love?

And if you wish to confess your love anonymously, why do it at all? It’s not a fan page for the one you’re “in love with”. Why don’t you bloody well confess something which others would really care about? Frankly, I don’t think anyone cares about an anonymous amorous soul’s infatuations, other than for being at their Grammar Nazi best and tearing the language apart.

So all you secret admirers…being secretive is overrated. I’m sure the person you love SO much. would prefer you telling them in person than posting random messages on one of the gazillion confession pages, just because you find the whole act of being anonymous strangely exhilarating or whatever.

(NOTE : I just realized I sound hugely pissed off or angry or cynical about confession pages/people in love. Not really. I just cannot believe that most people only have their crushes to confess about)

 

Hello. Do I know you?

I got this message on Facebook a few days back :-

Now, the sentiment expressed is perfectly fine. Very romantic and angsty and all that.

But this is from a person who I didn’t know existed till I saw this message. So I’m slightly puzzled as to whether he’s confused me with someone else, or he just likes asking 20 questions to every stranger on Facebook. Mysterious, yeah?

A Study on Telephonic Communication

The whole concept of conversing on a telephone (landed or wireless) can be quite an object of study.

For example, the existence of caller identification is such a boon! I have always hated the instances when someone (who rarely calls) calls, and then says, “Do you recognize my voice? Guess whoooo?”. I mean come on! If you want me to be in a situation to recognize your voice, you need to call more often y’know? So yes, I will love you if you just introduce yourself when I hesitatingly (but frankly) ask you who you are. Don’t torture me by continuing for another 5 minutes with a guessing game.

Because it can get really embarrassing. Once, I spent a good 10 minutes trying to emphatically convince someone (lets call him X) that he was in fact Y. In my defense, I really did believe I was right. Later, I realized that I was visualizing the correct person; I’d just mixed up the names. Sad, yes. Even more so because I really like X.

I also remember another time when someone played the ‘guess who’ game with me, and I promptly and assuredly told him that surely he’s my mother’s Uncle. Only when my mom took the phone and laughed her head off, did I smell something fishy. The caller was, in fact, my uncle and not my mom’s. Dammit. Why didn’t he just own up to that before I passed the phone onto my mother? What sadistic pleasure do people get from proving my voice identification skills as null and void? Who knows…the world is a tough place.

I’ve had experiences the other way around as well. As in, because my mom and I sound extremely similar on phone, there have been a lot of times when someone called and talked to me happily for a while and I answered back happily, till I was asked “And how’s your daughter?”. Uh. I’m the daughter. Sorry. I shall pass on the call to the mother. Kindly hold. (And yes, my mom’s been asked to “please get your mother on the line” as well. No, they did not mean my grandma).

The mind is so versatile…a voice can be imagined to belong to so many people!

 

Do you know what’s Spoken Word Poetry?

How many of you answered, “Yes I do”?

Well…why didncha tell me about it?!

I discovered this beautiful world of Spoken Word Poetry yesterday evening, with a piece by Sarah and Phil Kay(e) of Project V.O.I.C.E. If you love me (well, even if you don’t) please just listen to it.

Can you truthfully say that didn’t blow your mind away?

And this next one I watched, became another favourite

And so, after being enormously awed by this new genre of art, I went to sleep.

A few hours back, my sister put this up -

I cried while watching this one. So heartfelt. And so true, sadly. It just hits you right in the gut. You cannot stay disconnected.

I’ve given you something to obsess about for a while I hope. Because I’m most definitely in LOVE with this art form called Spoken Word Poetry.

You can check out this site too – http://www.project-voice.net

Happy Birthday TSB!

It’s my dearest blog, ‘The Serious Butterfly’s fourth Happy Birthday!! Yay!

It’s been four years since I started blogging. Four years! Can you believe that? Four years back, on this day, I decided to take some time out from studying for my board exams and ventured into the world of blogging. Of course, it wasn’t called ‘The Serious Butterfly’ then, and neither was it on WordPress. But gosh…I’ve been through so much since then. The almost-eighteen year old girl then has changed in so many ways. And my blog has seen me through all of it. If you begin to read from my earliest posts, you’ll realize how much I’ve grown up (grown UP, not grown OLD…okay? Okay.).

I have a special thanks to give to all the people who’ve read all my ramblings and commented graciously and given advice, laughed with me, praised me, empathized with me and basically, walked hand in hand with me as I wrote my way through life. Thank you to you all…here’s a piece of birthday cake for you!

You know you can’t refuse a slice of this! (Taken from the net)

Well, here’s to many many more years of gorgeous, warm, lovely blogging and to many more friends across continents!

Calvin & Hobbes to the rescue!

I have almost 3 posts in the drafting stage right now. And nothing posted since such a long time. Whaaaa?

So, till then…I leave you with a few gems from my favourit-est Calvin and Hobbes (so that it seems like I haven’t forgotten my dear blog).

I love them forever <3

The Age Old Question

I’m sure many, many, infinite number of people have asked this question before…but I’ve been asking it only recently.

What is ‘falling in love’ all about?

This is not the sort of thing I usually write about, and I know when some of my friends read this, they’re going to scoff and question my sanity. Coz I’m cool y’know? I don’t talk about such mushy stuff. And it’s true though. I’m not the kind of girl who likes talking about love and boyfriends and all. But I am a girl. Surrounded by people who’re “in love” with someone special. Constantly messaging or having hushed conversations with the ‘special one’, with a bit of hair-twirling and soft giggling thrown in. How is a person to stay oblivious?

I’ve got many friends who are in a relationship. A few of them have been (or still are) in bad, constrictive relationships. Two of my best friends were in such relationships. This did the efficient job of making me believe that I don’t want to ever be in a relationship myself unless and until I’m totally sure that this guy truly loves me et al.

Having spent three years in an all-girls college, I was sort of cut off from male friends for a while. Now, as a lot of my friends are guys, I’m starting to look at their perspectives about girls and love (Note : one good thing about not being an usual gossipy girl – people open up with you). And the first thing that attracts a guy, is how good-looking the girl is. I know a lot of guys who had crushes and got infatuated with a girl because she was pretty and girly. So…how long can looks sustain a relationship? I have no clue myself. But I do know that good looks cannot go all the way. It’s very important to have compatibility.

The concept of love has scared me when I think of a few distinct cases where female friends of mine are (in reality, or hope to be even after being dumped) in relationships with a guy who is controlling and dominating or unfaithful, because they “love him”. Does love make us lose all our self worth and dignity? Does it make us forget the independent and strong people we were before a single person started calling the shots in our life? Is ‘love’ a good enough reason to stick with someone even if they mentally confine you and try to possess you? And a good enough reason to forget all the other loved ones in your life just because this one new person feels insecure?

I know the answers are all a resounding ‘No’. But let’s face it…so many people are going through hell just out of love for some one person, out of some misplaced sense of loyalty…for a person who, frankly speaking, doesn’t give a sh**. I get very worked up when I remember these friends of mine. I can’t believe the ways they try to change themselves just to make their boyfriends (or ex-boyfriends who dumped them, but whom they still love) happy.

Being in love has really become a fad now. I’ve heard so many people tell me that they feel out of place at their hostels because they’re the only ones who’re single. Everybody else is in a relationship. So, many people are happily putting up ‘In a relationship’ statuses on Facebook, and posting lovey-dovey pictures together. I’m not saying all of them are fake and made-up. But you have to admit…most of them are, and very obviously so.

I’ve always believed that I would only actually fall in love with a guy because I’d actually love HIM. Everything about him. Be his best friend, and love him because of that. And he too would love me for reasons other than how good I’d look as arm-candy or how popular I am. But sometimes I question this logic. Is it too optimistic?

Though I am much happier single right now, sometimes I wonder whether coercing some guy into dating me isn’t such a bad idea after all. Because everyone else is so bloody engrossed with their own Prince Charmings and their Queens, I need someone for whom I’m the number one priority (except my parents of course)!

Maybe that’s what love is all about then? Finding that one person, for whom, you’re the world.

But it’s so damn complicated! *sigh*

 

A New Year’s Resolution I might just follow

 

Calvin always has some very pithy remark, which I agree with in quite a few situations.

Of course it doesn’t do to let myself believe that I’m absolutely perfect ;)

Bill Watterson…thank you for creating Calvin & Hobbes. You rock!