For as long as I remember, the solemn, philosophical, soul-stirring conversations I had with my cousin sister (Hi Runa!) always ended with an emphatic declaration from both of us – “We’re never going to become like these adults! Never!”
Little did we know, that we wouldn’t be given a choice.
Little did we know that we would be pushed into the “experience” head-first and then expected to find our bearings(if we ever do).
There are so many instances when I’m faced with some situation at work (side note : how on earth are we old enough to work?!) when I realize the gravity of the situation – now when I take a decision, I’m a representative of an organization. It’s not like college, when whatever I did, affected me and only me. If I submitted a subpar paper, it affected my grades. But if I do subpar work at office, I’m affecting a lot of other people and maybe even the whole project.
It’s humbling to say the least.
My cousin and I (refer above) had the following conversation just a few days back –
Sis : “I realize I’ve grown up when I see those movies with angsty teenagers saying, “Mom, I’m 16. I know what to do” and I go “You know nothing of the world.”.”
Me : “I KNOW RIGHT?! As in, you’re 16; stop kidding yourself and go study.
Both of us : “We literally understand the parent’s perspective now. How. Why. How.”
We understand that teenage is a angsty, rebellious phase. And that children need to calm down. Whaaa…??
We’re teenagers no more. And we’ve seen too much of the world to ever go back to being childlike and ignorant again. Ignorance truly was bliss. In some ways at least.
I surprise myself nowadays when I’m able to hold a conversation and exchange (*shudder*) small talk. I’m still really bad at it, but I’ve reduced awkward silences from my side by at least 5%. Achievement? Oh yes, I think so too.
There are still times when I just DON’T want to continue conversations with people I don’t like, but I’ve had to kind of learn the art of (*gasp*) hipocrisy, because I realize that I CANNOT sit in the corner and daydream. Because apparently that’s weird and adults don’t get as much leeway for being weird as kids/teenagers do. So I’ve realized that people might say anything they want to behind someone’s back, but they’re almost fawning over the same person when they’re directly interacting with them. I’m sorry. I thought when you didn’t agree with someone, you didn’t need to fight, yes, but you didn’t even need to act like there was no disagreement at all. But seems like that’s what makes the world go round – annoyance disguised as fondness.
All said and done though, it’s always reassuring that there are millions who’re stuck in the same crazy state that we are in. Internet throws up certain gems…
And I realize how our perspectives changed…
But now that we’re here…I guess we’ve got to make the most of it.
Happy Adulthood to my fellow kids-at-heart!
We’re stuck here now. No escape. No. Escape.