Can You Ever Actually Move On?

While sifting through the memories of the past, does everyone come across certain people who are no longer an active part of your life? And how does that make you feel? I think it depends on the time elapsed, doesn’t it?

I’ve made a few mistakes in my life and lost out on a few people who meant a lot to me. But I’m happy when, in retrospect, I realise that maybe…just maybe, these people wouldn’t have really fit into the life I have now. And it relieves me to think that the blame was never really completely on my side. May I say that it was less on my side and more on the other? It’s not because I want to project the fact that I was always amazing and better than the other. It just helps me somehow accept the fact that they didn’t require me in their lives either. And that makes me realise that they’ve stopped hurting, just like I have.

In high school, I lost a close, dear friend because of circumstances. There was no blame on either side. We were young and didn’t realise the whole meaning of ‘staying in touch’. We grew apart as our classes changed and we weren’t in the same section anymore. It would suddenly hit me sometimes that yes, there was some blame on my side and none on her’s. But when I see her today, I’m just happy that she has found close friends. This kind of losing out on somebody doesn’t hurt so much. There’s a mutual feeling of love on both sides. And I think that’s fine.

Recently however, I lost (I think) a friend who had grown to become something like a sister for me. She found new friends after moving to college and maybe I stopped meaning as much to her as they did. Or am I just being dramatic? I don’t know, because she won’t tell me anything. She’s cut me off. When that happened, I realised for the first time why it’s called a ‘heartbreak’. As I sat there, hoping with all my heart that she would reply to my message and assuage my fears, tell me that it was all just a misunderstanding, she didn’t say a thing. And then there was heartbreak. Right there in my chest, my heart felt like someone was clawing at it. So this was heartbreak! I think I’m actually lucky I didn’t have to face it ever before in my life.

I moved on, telling myself that if she didn’t need me, I didn’t either. It’s true that communication between us had lessened with time, so I could ‘move on’ quite fast. But even now, there are so many memories which pop into my head. And I’m just left with a lump in my throat.

Can you ever actually move on?



28 thoughts on “Can You Ever Actually Move On?

  1. but there isn’t much of an option is there?? you have to move on, life goes on and so must you…

  2. i think its nt abt moving on…..u just need to look at life from a different perspective….n sometimes these heartbreaks only help u find new ppl who r actually meant to b in ur life….so the heartbreak is nt really a heartbreak its just a new beginning to a new life or a new friendship :)

    • Firstly…thanks for reading! :)

      Yes, it’s true. Such incidents help you find those people who actually love you. But coping with the sudden realisation that one person who you had thought considered you important doesn’t care about you, is hard. Still, the other perspective is nicer :)

  3. I think that sometimes we value a person as a friend when really they are just an acquaintance.

    It is hard, but time brings new acqaintances to your life who will grow into valued and trusted friends.

    • Yes…that is exactly what helps you bounce back. The friends who actually care are always there for you. And new friends will hopefully grow to become close friends in the future :)

  4. It’s like I should have written this post!.. I’ve experienced every bit you shared!

    It really hurts, thinking of how well you knew a person back then, and then suddenly woof !, no contact at all… I mean I think you were right when you said –
    “I realise that maybe…just maybe, these people wouldn’t have really fit into the life I have now.”

    Well, thanks for the share.

    • Wow! I guess I’m not too surprised that I’m not the only one to have gone through such a thing.

      That line is sort of to assure myself actually. It actually works too :)

      Thanks for reading and commenting! :)

  5. i loved your post… and you know what…i can so relate to it :(

    • Oh my…I didn’t want so many people to be able to relate to it. This is something I wouldn’t wish upon anybody…ever

      Thanks a lot for reading and appreciating!

  6. I Love this Story nice work :)

  7. Love your post, well written!
    That’s life. People come and go in our lives, just like we do in others’. People change, situations change, we change. All these add to our life experiences, maturity and network. You’ll never know when your paths cross again.
    Smile always! =)

    • Thank you! :)
      Yes. I’m slowly getting used to that adventure called ‘life’. Maybe life will bring us face-to-face again some day.
      Thank you so much for your lovely words :)

  8. Nicely written post! Liked it a lot! Keep Writing!

  9. It is definitely possible to move on. I have had similar experiences and I’ve realized that it’s better to move on than be tied down emotionally to somebody who doesn’t care about you anymore… why do we want to torture ourselves? it’s a small world… we’ll all find happiness for sure =) one or the other way… =)

    • I keep realising that and then again forgetting it as old memories come racing into my head because of something. But I guess, with time, you do move on. And true…it’s the best thing to do.
      Thank you for commenting! :)

  10. The best kind of relationships are those that can take off without missing a beat when you see each other next time. Everyone is sucked up in the melee of their lives, but when they see someone who was special, it is as though the rest aren’t there. It is best when that happens and the only way that can happen is when we keep our expectations of others minimal.

    Just my 2c.

    • This friend and I had just that kind of friendship. No expectations. We could be ourselves with each other. Which is why I guess, it’s so much more harder for me to just forget and accept that things have changed now.

      Very correct 2c :)

  11. […] last year was a slightly confusing year for me. There were a lot of decisions to be taken, a lot of things to accept, a few eagerly anticipated surprises, a few amusingly shocking experiences, some goodbyes and a […]

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  15. I came here from your New Years post curious to read about what happened. Never realizing that I had someone I was missing, too. My best friend from the time I was 13 – 20. We lost touch when my family moved (before either of us had a computer or even knew what email was) We wrote back and forth for a while but living in different cities made it easy to move on with our other friends. I started looking for her about 4 years ago and I found her on facebook. We wrote back and forth and had a great time catching up until she learned that I was no longer of the same faith she was. She removed herself from my friends list, deleted her account and hasn’t spoken to me since. Talk about a heartbreak! I guess it’s easier for me to accept that her love for God is greater than her love for me and that’s easy to live with because I know her faith. I still miss her but don’t blame her. Just sucks, ya know?

  16. Something similar happened with me too… well, more than once I suppose. It sucks, but sometimes circumstances and people change too much for things to remain the way they used to be. :/

    • I don’t mind the situation which comes about with changed circumstances or passage of time. But when a person changes because somebody else decides they should, it’s hard to digest. Oh well. Time heals all wounds and all that :)

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