Yes, I’ve just finished eating mine, hence the question. While eating however, I realised that I’d been following a pattern automatically…a pattern always in the process of being perfected to pizza-eating-bliss by me over the years.
You see, there was a time, when I was first introduced to the pizza, that I looked around for inspiration to see how exactly you were supposed to eat this weirdly triangular thing. I tried the usual way – start from the pointy end and work your way through the rest. But I hit certain snags :-
- I always hated being left with the cold, hard, topping-less crust (which is the border of every pizza) in the end. When you’re a kid, you can’t hog as fast. So by the time I reached the crust, it was BAD.
- Eating the pizza indiscriminately from pointy end to crust meant that sometimes the last bites were devoid of juicy pieces of toppings. I mean, come on…they can’t sprinkle on toppings with mechanical precision, can they? Some portions will be scantily topped.
So I gave this a lot of thought and came up with a process of eating which would solve these two problems of mine. Here it is…
(I wasn’t going to put in pictures, but then I realised it might be more comprehensible if I just give some basic illustrations)
First, I eat the bordering crust of the slice and get it out of the way. No, I do not proceed to eat the pizza in a back-to-front way. After having eaten the crust, I go back to the pointy end (sometimes)
Next, I scan out the portions which have the lowest concentration of the main topping. I meticulously eat those parts first, leaving behind a slice which looks like it was attacked by savages.
As you can see, now only that part of the pizza remains which has the big chunks of your preferred topping. This is then devoured. You hence save the best for the last. Also, you choose exactly how each bite will taste. Yes, I might be showing signs of OCD.
What do you think is the best way of eating a pizza slice?