So I get into an auto-rickshaw and the person who was standing behind me is still shouting out the name of the place she wants to go to. The auto driver, kind soul, decides to tell her to share with me as we’re both going the same direction. She gets in happily, ignores me completely and talks about “Aap inko kahaan utaaroge? Toh mujhe inke baad utarna padhega?“(Where will you drop her? So you’ll drop me after her?). While the driver mumbled out something, we were already off. She kept getting calls from someone who I suppose was waiting for her at her destination. She kept telling him/her how she didn’t know any roads in Delhi but still they were making her roam around like this and that now they’d have to wait for her to reach, etc. etc. etc. I cannot tell you how hard it was for me to not laugh, or for that matter even grin (she could see me in the side-view mirror). But what was even funnier, was that as she kept explaining to her mysterious caller (by asking the driver) where she’d reached by then, she kept growing surer that she was fast approaching her destination. The reality was that we were fast approaching my destination, and bypassing hers.
By this time, the mysterious caller was voicing his/her concerns as to my auto-mate’s location. I think the person even doubted the fact as to whether the girl had even left her house by then, resulting in my partner going into a tirade about how they could even think of such a thing, she hardly knows Delhi and she was still coming and did the caller think that she was telling them her location herself? She was constantly asking the Bhaiyyaji, (who, by the way was having just as much of a hard time keeping a straight face) and then telling them. Then she made the statement that made me seriously doubt whether this girl would ever reach Panchsheel Park, her destination. She said,” Bhaiyya, maine aapko Panchsheel Park bola hai, Panchshila Park nahi, haan?” (I’ve told you to go to Panchsheel Park, not Panchshila Park, Okay?) to which the driver amusedly assured her that he was going exactly where she had told him to go. I mean, God! Delhi doesn’t even have a ‘Panchshila Park’! People like this girl seriously use public transport? Aren’t they too much of a threat to themselves and to everyone around them? :O
So anyway, as we kept approaching my colony, she kept assuring the caller that she was fast approaching him/her. What sorely tested my keeping-a-straight-face skills was when she started giving random landmarks from around my colony, thinking it was close to her destination. While passing a market near my residential area, she mentioned that she was passing “Axis Bank. No, there’s no (something) next to it”. Next she mentioned a certain Dr. Gupta’s Clinic and Laboratory, which incidentally is some vague doctor’s chamber, which I’m certain does not exist anywhere else. I’m wondering what the caller thought when she mentioned this chamber. Probably helped them believe that she seriously hadn’t even left her house. And so we went on, the girl now at last showing some apprehensions as to where she exactly was (thank god). When I reached my place, I told her (though she still continued to give me the royal ignore) that she was kind of close to Panchsheel Park and that she should reach in 10-15 minutes. And then she went out of my life.
I’m hoping she reached Panchsheel Park.
I’m praying to God that she gets some brains and realizes thats she should never ever use public transport again…at least not to go to a place which she knows nothing of.